Tuesday, June 3, 2014

An Interview with -- Me! Part 2

I'm quite flattered to find that there seems to be so much curiosity about me.  In the comment section of the previous post, I got a whole new batch of questions about my life!  I guess you humans don't often get the chance to get to know a magical pool of raven blood.  So, here are some answers for Sir Honour, Clementine, the eighty-ninth!

I have a few questions about your life, and some err…more personal questions. I’ll start with my wife’s question, though. Sir Raven Blood, where did your personality come from? Do all vials of raven blood made by wizards have personalities?I quite wondered this question myself.

That's a very personal question, for sure.  I mean, where did your personality come from, bro?  Or your wife's?  There are so many factors, dude.  However, I can give you at least a partial answer.  In my formative years when I was just a young pool of raven blood, Farland befriended a surfer named Lazlo.  He was from the South of Fritillary.  The surfer hung out a lot in Farland's evil lair, so I had lots of chances to pop into his mind and get to know him better.  It turns out Farland only befriended Lazlo in order to figure out where to find the seaweeds and corals he needed for his spells, and once he'd gotten all the information he needed Lazlo stopped coming around.  I've always feared the worst, but have hoped that Lazlo is still alive, and not shooting the curl in the great beyond.  Before Lazlo disappeared, he taught me an awful lot, though.  The principles (if  not the practices) of zen yoga, pacifism, and a heck of a lot more kindness than I'd ever known before.  I like to think that, if Lazlo is indeed dead, I am honoring him by carrying his life-philosophy on into the world.

Also, are you fond of tea? I’m quite fond of tea, and I couldn’t imagine not drinking it.

Farland tripped one time and accidentally dropped a cup of Raspberry Zinger in me, and it diluted me like cray-zee, man.  I didn't care for the stuff.  Couldn't speak a complete sentence or think straight until he'd poured about a raven-and-a-half worth of fresh blood into me.

Do you have a favorite color? I know there’s the whole not having eyes thing, but surely you must have one?
When I was ravens, I enjoyed the ultraviolet spectrum best.  We birds can see more than you humans.

Do you ever feel remorse that ravens have to be slain in order for you to survive? I know they’re not the most wholesome creature, but they are living.

Totally, dude.  Totally.  I have nightmares and everything.  But then I employ some of Lazlo's teachings and I carry on, trying to do as much good as I can, so as to make sure that the ravens didn't die in vain. 

How did you learn to speak, was it innate, or did you have to teach yourself?

I just listened to Farland and worked it out.  I don't smell or see, or even feel really, so all I've got is hearing.  When that's all that you can experience, you figure out stuff pretty quick.

The evil wizard that created you wasn’t exactly the brightest wizard in the batch, and you don’t like serving him (quite understandably), but I was wondering, why choose Warren? He’s not exactly the brightest boy in the batch, though he is resourceful!

Of all the spells that Farland ever cast using me as an ingredient, the one where he cursed Conroy's firstborn child bothered me the most.  So when I got the opportunity to help the counter-curse out, I took it!

One last question, Sir Raven Blood, and I will let you continue existing in peace. How do you feel about the women’s rights movement?

The women's right movement is awesome.  About half my blood is from female ravens, so I'm half chick-raven blood!  But even if I was all dude-raven blood, I'd still think chicks and dudes should have equality.  I'm a raven, not a pig! 

Thanks to you and your wife for the awesome questions!

Love and kisses,

The magical vial of raven blood

http://www.jukepop.com/home/read/1504/?chapter=1&sl=240

Sunday, June 1, 2014

An Interview with -- Me!

Hi friends!  So Blog Entry #3 is going to be about me, the magical pool of raven blood!  I got a comment from Stephy and she had a lot of good (though some rather personal) questions that I figured other people might also be wondering about.  So, here we go, dudes!

I would very much like to know more about who you are, how old you are, where you came from, and how many ravens it took to make you. Many regular-sized ravens? One huge raven? Perhaps a giant prehistoric dinosaur raven?


Farland made me when he was around ten years old, so I'm in my mid-twenties. By the time Farland was ten, he was already well on his way to plotting the downfall of the monarchy, and since magical raven blood is a very powerful ingredient in magic spells, he knew he had to get himself some of the good stuff.  So, he made me.  Not of a giant prehistoric dinosaur raven, or one huge raven, though those are good guesses.   He set some raven traps in the woods, baited them with carcasses of other animals he'd killed, and then once the ravens were trapped he killed them and collected the blood.  He was a creepy kid.  At the time, I was about fifteen ravensworth of blood, but since then, due to evaporation and whatnot, New raven blood has been added.  I'd wager about fourty or so ravens have met their end to keep me going. 

And what happens when you are split into multiple containers - for example: your main body in the pool in Farland's place (the 'mothership', if you will), and then split into perhaps not one, but twenty or thirty vials? Would that be confusing for you?


It gets confusing when I'm divided into multiple containers, since sometimes I sort of forget where I am, especially if we're talking more than four containers, and if I'm being kept in a pocket or a bag where it's hard to hear.  But my consciousness is only capable of being in one container at a time, so it isn't as though I am hearing everything going on around all the vessels I'm in at the same time.  My consciousness can hop from container to container, though it gets exhausting if I do it too much.  If someone with one of the containers hollers really loud when my consciousness is elsewhere, I can usually hear them and go see what they want.  I hope that all makes sense.

What happens if you freeze?

I've never frozen.  I'm usually just in a basin of blood in Farland's Evil Lair, which is heated tolerably well.  And none of the adventures I've been on where I've been transported in a vial have been in the winter.  Gah, I hope I never have to find out!  Sounds... chilling.  Ha ha!

What happens when you get mad? Does your blood boil?


I like to think I'm pretty zen and that, consequently, I don't really get mad.  Que surah surah, bro.

What happens when you go deep-sea diving a little bit too deep? Do you get the bends? Does it affect you the same way it affects blood within animals suited to the surface of the Earth?

I've never been deep-sea diving.  Geez, dude, you really think I get around!  You must know some adventurous vessels of liquid.  I really wish I could answer this question, since you seem to have a keen and inquiring mind, and I'd hate to leave you wondering, but I gotta tell you I just don't know.  I would guess that the glass of the vial I would be in would shatter under the pressure and I would become one with the sea, but that's just pure speculation.

Thank you for answering my important questions.


No problem, Stephy!  Any time!

Love and kisses,

The magical pool of raven blood

http://www.jukepop.com/home/read/1504/?chapter=1&sl=841