Sunday, June 1, 2014

An Interview with -- Me!

Hi friends!  So Blog Entry #3 is going to be about me, the magical pool of raven blood!  I got a comment from Stephy and she had a lot of good (though some rather personal) questions that I figured other people might also be wondering about.  So, here we go, dudes!

I would very much like to know more about who you are, how old you are, where you came from, and how many ravens it took to make you. Many regular-sized ravens? One huge raven? Perhaps a giant prehistoric dinosaur raven?


Farland made me when he was around ten years old, so I'm in my mid-twenties. By the time Farland was ten, he was already well on his way to plotting the downfall of the monarchy, and since magical raven blood is a very powerful ingredient in magic spells, he knew he had to get himself some of the good stuff.  So, he made me.  Not of a giant prehistoric dinosaur raven, or one huge raven, though those are good guesses.   He set some raven traps in the woods, baited them with carcasses of other animals he'd killed, and then once the ravens were trapped he killed them and collected the blood.  He was a creepy kid.  At the time, I was about fifteen ravensworth of blood, but since then, due to evaporation and whatnot, New raven blood has been added.  I'd wager about fourty or so ravens have met their end to keep me going. 

And what happens when you are split into multiple containers - for example: your main body in the pool in Farland's place (the 'mothership', if you will), and then split into perhaps not one, but twenty or thirty vials? Would that be confusing for you?


It gets confusing when I'm divided into multiple containers, since sometimes I sort of forget where I am, especially if we're talking more than four containers, and if I'm being kept in a pocket or a bag where it's hard to hear.  But my consciousness is only capable of being in one container at a time, so it isn't as though I am hearing everything going on around all the vessels I'm in at the same time.  My consciousness can hop from container to container, though it gets exhausting if I do it too much.  If someone with one of the containers hollers really loud when my consciousness is elsewhere, I can usually hear them and go see what they want.  I hope that all makes sense.

What happens if you freeze?

I've never frozen.  I'm usually just in a basin of blood in Farland's Evil Lair, which is heated tolerably well.  And none of the adventures I've been on where I've been transported in a vial have been in the winter.  Gah, I hope I never have to find out!  Sounds... chilling.  Ha ha!

What happens when you get mad? Does your blood boil?


I like to think I'm pretty zen and that, consequently, I don't really get mad.  Que surah surah, bro.

What happens when you go deep-sea diving a little bit too deep? Do you get the bends? Does it affect you the same way it affects blood within animals suited to the surface of the Earth?

I've never been deep-sea diving.  Geez, dude, you really think I get around!  You must know some adventurous vessels of liquid.  I really wish I could answer this question, since you seem to have a keen and inquiring mind, and I'd hate to leave you wondering, but I gotta tell you I just don't know.  I would guess that the glass of the vial I would be in would shatter under the pressure and I would become one with the sea, but that's just pure speculation.

Thank you for answering my important questions.


No problem, Stephy!  Any time!

Love and kisses,

The magical pool of raven blood

http://www.jukepop.com/home/read/1504/?chapter=1&sl=841

7 comments:

  1. I think you're swell. I'm probably your...I don't know...seventh biggest fan. I was wondering if you remember your past lives, you know, from when you were a bunch of living ravens? I know you squawk, so you've kept some raven qualities. Also, I'd love a signed photo.
    Sincerely,
    Raven Curious

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  2. My memories of being ravens come to me in my sleep. Dreams of soaring through the great wide open sky, using my advanced brain to use sticks to capture bugs to eat, dining on carrion, communicating with other ravens using a surprisingly huge array of trills, rattles, and squawks. Ah, that was the life, I tell ya. Sometimes I think I'd give anything to be a raven again instead of a magical pool of blood. But, considering that a raven's lifespan in the wild is about 13 years, I'd have been dead long ago, which is lame. So, on balance, I guess it all works out. And, bro, I'd totally love to send you my signature (I just splash a bit of blood onto some paper). The problem is, I can't address an envelope or buy stamps, and Farland isn't likely to help me out unless he's already sending you some mail anyway, which isn't the case I hope!

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  3. Your response to my first question begs another highly important question. Once all the molecules of your original raven blood have been replaced by new raven blood, will you still be the same guy? Can you - hypothetically speaking - live forever?

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    Replies
    1. As long as even one molecule of blood from the original ravens remains, I will remain. And, statistically speaking, it would take an awful lot of dilution and evaporation to get rid of all original molecules. So I would call myself *nearly* immortal.

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  4. I thank you for your answers to my questions :)

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  5. Dear Sir Raven Blood,

    I have a few questions about your life, and some err…more personal questions. I’ll start with my wife’s question, though. Sir Raven Blood, where did your personality come from? Do all vials of raven blood made by wizards have personalities? I quite wondered this question myself. Also, are you fond of tea? I’m quite fond of tea, and I couldn’t imagine not drinking it. Do you have a favorite color? I know there’s the whole not having eyes thing, but surely you must have one? Do you ever feel remorse that ravens have to be slain in order for you to survive? I know they’re not the most wholesome creature, but they are living. How did you learn to speak, was it innate, or did you have to teach yourself? The evil wizard that created you wasn’t exactly the brightest wizard in the batch, and you don’t like serving him (quite understandably), but I was wondering, why choose Warren? He’s not exactly the brightest boy in the batch, though he is resourceful! One last question, Sir Raven Blood, and I will let you continue existing in peace. How do you feel about the women’s rights movement?

    Signed,
    Sir Honour, Clementine, the eighty-ninth.

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